Sometimes I Wish I Was Part of a Weird Bus Couple

Weird bus couples. I think I see one every time I ride the bus. You know the ones I mean; they get on the bus talking very loudly. They have no regard for anyone else, they are audibly making fun of the people sitting in front of them and not giving one ounce of a shit about it. They will probably start making out before you get off of the bus. There are probably teeth missing from both parties. At least one of them will be wearing a cracking leather jacket. They are probably much younger than you think; you ballpark them at around 50, maybe 40. That figure is probably closer to 30, but that many cigarettes and who-knows-what else doesn’t do wonders for ones appearance. There is certainly a mullet involved. Probably a WalkMan, too. So why, why would I ever want to be a part of a grubby couple like this?

Simply because, underneath the missing teeth, questionable fashion choices and way-dated cell phones, they seem happy. They have a simple, fun-loving, compatible relationship: they don’t care what anyone thinks, they are obviously not very concerned with very many material things and they can have fun––I assume––anywhere they are. I mean, I’m not saying I would want to grow a mullet, wear black New Balances and knock out a few of my teeth just to get into a relationship of this caliber, no, but the attitude behind a relationship like this is definitely appealing––when applied to your own life.

Think about it. You are dating someone you don’t have to constantly worry about impressing; you are comfortable enough to talk about anything you want (I guess you could wear anything you want, too) and the both of you do not care at all what your friends––or random strangers––think about your relationship because you know it’s a good one. I dunno, but that sounds pretty damn good to me. Plus, you can be a total douchebag on any mode of public transportation you find yourself riding and nobody will say anything to you. And if they do, they’re just jealous. Or really offended. Or both. But forget ‘em, because you’ve got your woman at your side and as soon as you pull that cord thing and request a stop and you’re off the bus you can make fun of that guy for the rest of the afternoon. Hell, you could even make fun of him while he’s still sitting two seats away from you, what do you care? You’re a weird bus couple now.